I am fully aware that the majority of my readers are women. This fact is not surprising to me at all. However, recent events have compelled me to write a blog that is geared, primarily, toward men. If you find it to be relevant (which of course, you will), forward it to any man who you feel could use some help in the dating department. Consider it a public service.

I became single for the first time in over 6 years just over 8 months ago. Because it had been so long, I was a little wary to jump back into dating. It’s been a slow process and one that has been filled with frustration, aggravation and quite a few hysterically funny stories. I’ve encountered horribly cheap men, absolutely clueless men and terribly offensive men. As a frugalsopher, I understand that dating can be expensive, especially since it is expected (most of the time) that the man will foot the bill for the first date. I decided to list a few do’s and don’ts to help men date productively.

Do

1. Pick a restaurant that is reasonably      priced….or at least within your budget. It isn’t necessary to go all      out on your first date, since that is typically the date during which you      are trying to decide if you are even compatible. Ruth Chris’s Steakhouse      isn’t necessary (although it is certainly appreciated), but Boston Market      isn’t appropriate. One of my dates was brilliant. He selected a local      Vietnamese restaurant (after checking to make I liked Vietnamese food)      that was inexpensive, yet renowned for its authentic cuisine. The food was      delicious and he didn’t look cheap.
2. Plan the evening. The whole back      and forth indecisiveness is annoying and unproductive. I typically tell a      man that I will eat anywhere, because I can truly find something I like on      every menu. Honestly, I do that because I don’t know what kind of money he      is looking to spend. What if he has a local cuisine budget (see above) but      I suggest something pricier? What if I suggest local cuisine, but he      wanted to take me to Ruth Chris’s? My goal isn’t to make the man feel      uncomfortable. If a man takes the lead and makes a couple of suggestions,      I can safely give my opinion without making anyone uncomfortable.
3. Be on time. Nothing is more      frustrating than someone being late for a date, especially the first date.      If circumstances beyond your control cause you to be late, by all means,      communicate! I won’t be as frustrated if I receive a text telling me he’s      running 15 minutes late because he’s stuck in traffic. However, without a      head’s up, I will likely fume until he arrives.
4. Treat her like a lady. If a man      asks to swing by with wine and a movie rather than offering to take me to      dinner, he will not get a second chance. It’s not so much because I am      after the free food (although free food is nice), it’s because that would      set the standard for every interaction following the wine and a movie      evening. If you don’t set the standard high, it will only sink lower!
5. No movies on a first date. I can’t      speak for everyone, but I think it’s ridiculous to go see a movie on a      first date. The first date is the get-to-know-you date. How can you get to      know someone while sitting quietly through a movie? I’m not adverse to a      movie on later dates, just not the first date!

Don’t

1. Cancel a date on short notice. I      understand that things come up sometimes, but when a date is cancelled      last minute it seems disrespectful to me. I took the time to block the      evening, schedule a babysitter (if applicable) and plan an outfit and you      bail? If it is a legitimate reason for cancelling, make sure that you make      the date up within a week. Otherwise, it makes it look as if something      better came up that night.
2. Constantly try to get out of dining      out. There was a gentleman who would do everything in his power to      avoid taking me out. One day, he wanted to go cookout at the park. The next      day it was an invitation to the pool. Another day it was an invitation to      his friend’s birthday party at his friend’s house. Yet another time he      offered to cook me dinner at his house. Since he was an old boyfriend from      when I was a teenager, I flat out explained to him that if he doesn’t take      me out, we won’t hang out. We still haven’t been out to dinner. Set the      standard.
3. Don’t leave the check sitting there. It’s      always awkward when the bill comes after dinner on a first date. It’s      extra awkward when the man leaves the check sitting there without making a      move to grab it. Is he waiting for me to pay the bill? Is he afraid to see      how much the bill is? Does he expect me to offer to split the bill? Keep      things from getting awkward and just take the check!
4. Don’t be a poor tipper. I am very      observant when I’m on a date. I am especially observant when my date is      tipping people. I’m watching when he tips the valet, the server, the      bartender…anyone he tips. It’s one thing to be frugal but another thing      entirely to be cheap. And when your cheapness is affecting someone else’s      livelihood? No bueno.
5. Be polite…to everyone. Not just your date. If you think that the way you      treat your server or the hostess isn’t a direct reflection on you, you are      an idiot. I’ve been on both sides of that scenario. As a server, I have      had men belittle me or speak down to me and I’ve watched their first date      end before it began. As a date, I have watched my interest in a man      plummet with every rude remark or comment. Women don’t like to see a man      being rude to people. It doesn’t make you look powerful or authoritive. It      makes you look like a jerk. I don’t like to be around jerks.

These are just the major irritants that I’ve been dealing with in the dating world. I’m sure I missed about a million. If these seem like basic knowledge to you, hooray for you! You aren’t a jerk! But, for many men these will be surprising and shocking, I’m sure. For now, I will carry on with my dating. When I find a guy who adheres to at least 8 out of 10 on this list, I may just decide he’s a keeper. Until then I will just keep looking!

What are some of your dating do’s and don’ts?

There are many ways that you can incorporate saving money into your everyday life and I have detailed many of them throughout the course of this blog. However, it never hurts to have a reminder of the most important ways to save money. I get lazy sometimes and I will fail to be diligent with my money, only to kick myself later when I realize that I was essentially flushing money down the toilet. Personally, I don’t like to throw money away. I have many, more useful, things to do with extra cash than to give it away. If you keep these tips in mind, they may help you to save some money that can be used for far more interesting things that groceries or bills!

1. Always make a monthly meal plan. You don’t necessarily have to assign the meal to a specific day; however make a meal plan to get you through most of the month. I will actually write mine out and post it on the refrigerator so my son can choose what he wants for dinner. From the menu plan, make your grocery list. If it’s possible, shop for the month too. Every additional trip to the grocery store wastes time and typically costs extra money. I know I’m not the only one who will go to the store for milk and leave with $30 worth of unnecessary groceries. That’s why I try to limit my trips.
2. Look through the grocery sale circulars prior to shopping. You can more easily plan your shopping trip if you figure out what is on sale at each store. Many people actually plan their meals by finding what’s on sale. I don’t go that far because I know what I want to eat, and when I want to eat it. However, if you are able to shape your appetite by what is on sale, you will likely save more money! Also, make sure to go through your coupons to make sure you get the best deal possible.
3. Speaking of coupons, pay close attention to the Sunday paper and the mailers that you find stuffed into your mailbox. The Sunday paper is packed with coupons, and many are for items that will soon be on sale in the stores. The mailers are often for local businesses and you will find amazing discounts for restaurants and other local services. The mailbox is where you will also find coupons for fast food that can often provide steep discounts.
4. Don’t carry cash. For some reason, cash seems to disappear from wallets at an alarming rate. When I have cash in my wallet, I will often be left scratching my head and wondering what in the world I spent it on. I try to never carry cash unless it is absolutely necessary.
5. Pack your lunch for work! Consider how much you spend eating out every day. Even if you simply go to McDonald’s, that is at least $25 a week that you are spending unnecessarily. Yes, packing a lunch costs money too, but not nearly as much and it is much healthier. Also, leftovers make a great lunch and don’t cost anything extra. I am partial to the frozen Barber stuffed chicken breasts (broccoli & cheese), but they are pricey. I wait until they go on sale for buy 1 get 1 free and stock up. At any given moment you will see at least a half dozen of them in my freezer. They are quick easy and delicious!

There are tons of easy ways to save money. The important thing is that you don’t get lazy about it. Sure, it’s easier to just throw money away without have to spend the time clipping coupons or looking through sale ads. However, the money tree I planted has yet to bloom, so for now I have to do whatever I can to keep as much of my money as possible!

What are some of your best money saving tricks?

As a frugalosopher, I love to save money. I look for deals everywhere I go, and I am never one to turn my nose up at savings, no matter how minor. However, there are some savings that are so slight and so trivial that I can’t even imagine wasting my time pursuing them. Don’t get me wrong, if it is convenient to save pennies and you aren’t going out of your way or wasting time to do so, by all means save the pennies. But, I feel that sometimes people get consumed with the thought of saving money and there is little thought given to the value of time.

Some of you may think I’m crazy when I say this, but please continue reading so I can explain myself. I don’t care which gas station I purchase my fuel from. There, I said it. The reason I know that some people will think that I am crazy for saying this is because there are websites dedicated to locating the cheapest gas station in every city. There is a small segment of the local news every morning dedicated to the cheapest gas stations in the area. There are even fuel programs at the grocery store for slight savings on gas when you buy certain products or spend a certain amount of money. People are crazy about saving money on gas.

Yes, gas prices are high. Extremely high. High enough that I no longer feel bad for people riding their bikes or waiting at the bus stop…I am envious and proud. The problem is that the price of gas is high at every gas station. Whether it is $3.79 per gallon or $3.74 per gallon, it is still expensive. In fact, I often couldn’t tell you how much I just paid per gallon when I filled up my car because it doesn’t matter. I need gas. There is no other option. It’s not the same as when the price of strawberries went through the roof and I had to stop buying them for a while. I have to keep buying gas, expensive or not.

My problem with the “gas shoppers” is that they don’t save enough money to make it worth their time to even think about it, with the exception of those who are filling up an RV or some other monstrosity. My tank holds 12 gallons. If I spent my time looking for cheap gas, travelling out of my way to buy said gas only to save $0.60 I would be extremely aggravated. Honestly, it is rare that there is much more than a $0.05 difference from gas station to gas station. Even at a $0.10 difference, if it isn’t on my regular route, it just isn’t worth it!

I have a family member who will drive 45 minutes away to another city to fill her truck up with cheaper gas. I understand that her gas tank is double the size of mine, but she also uses more gas to drive. So she spends an hour and a half driving uses a lot of gas to get there and saves $1.20. How does that make any sense?

There are some exceptions. There is a gas station near the airport that was charging customers around $3.00 more per gallon than was the local average. They didn’t have signage up indicating their gas prices, so unsuspecting tourists would stop to fill up their rental cars only to notice the expense. Many of them were rushing to catch flights and had no choice but to pay. Others didn’t even pay attention to the price and were shocked to discover the insane markup. Although what the station owner did wasn’t against the law, the city is currently working on making signage mandatory.

Saving money is great, but at what cost? My time is just as valuable as my money. If there are two stations side by side, I will always opt for the cheaper gas. But, I will not take the long way home from work just to save a couple of quarters. I complain about gas prices along with the rest of the country. I wish it were cheaper to fill my car up. But, since gas prices are, on average, pretty standard, why would I waste my time gas shopping? I would much rather waste my time watching bad reality television or reading a fantastic book. Wouldn’t you?

Do you fuel shop? How much money do you save?

As much as I love to cook, I understand that cooking can be very time consuming for someone who works full time. I know that I always keep some quick and easy possibilities in my kitchen. But, quick and easy doesn’t have to mean fast food or Hamburger Helper. Here are a couple of my go-to easy night meals that take minutes to prepare and are thoroughly enjoyed by my family.

French Dips

These are easy and delicious! Also, any leftovers are great for lunch the next day.

Deli roast beef

Sub rolls

Provolone cheese

French onion soup

Heat French onion soup after submerging roast beef. Once heated through, transfer to sub rolls and top with cheese. Cook in oven until cheese is melted and use reserved soup for dipping.

Fish burritos

These are delicious and can be relatively healthy, depending upon the fish used. I tend to use the unhealthy frozen fish fillets, but there are always healthier options.

Fish

Tortillas

Tartar sauce

Lettuce

Salsa

Prepare fish according to your taste, shred and combine with tartar sauce, salsa and lettuce in a tortilla.

Another way that I save a lot of time on weeknight meals is by double cooking. I’ve blogged about this before, but it is too much of a sanity saver to not repeat! Cooking more than one meal in an evening removes the hassle for the following night. Freezing leftovers is another great way to prepare. When I make lasagna, I usually freeze half of it for next time. Also, meals like chili and spaghetti are easily doubled. If you are preparing a meal that is easy to double, do so and freeze half. Instant meal! I always like to keep chili in the freezer at all times because sometimes a girl just must have a chili dog or chili cheese fries.

What are your go-to meals when you are running low on time or energy?

It’s finally here! I’ve been waiting so long for the book to be released and I am absolutely thrilled! Right now, the e-book is available on Amazon, B&N Nook and the Android Marketplace. Within the next week or so, the e-book will be available on iBooks as well. The physical book is coming soon. We are looking for it to be available (hopefully) by the end of March. Things are really moving along!

It’s been such an experience to write the book and start the blog. I’d never really given much thought to using writing as a medium to communicate my thoughts and ideas to others. I enjoy sharing tips and tricks with others…it makes me feel as if I’m helping! A penny saved is a penny earned is a great motto to live by!

I truly hope that you will enjoy the book and use it to change the way you think about money. There are so many ways to save money without giving up the lifestyle that you have chosen. I hope that there are ideas in my book that may not have occurred to you before and that you take the ideas and incorporate them into your life.

Up next will be a cookbook filled with inexpensive meals and cooking shortcuts that will provide weeks worth of yummy meals for your family. I enjoy cooking and I am a bit of a recipe collector, so I will be sharing my favorite recipes. I’m hoping for the next book to be released before the end of the year.

In all, it has been quite a journey and I appreciate the support of everyone who has supported me, helped me, or simply been a reader of my blog. I look forward to getting back on top of my blog and providing continued frugalosophy to everyone I encounter!

Sometimes, being frugal just isn’t enough. There are situations and circumstances that can cause major financial hardships. I was out of work for three months which was a devastating circumstance for me. I’m a single mother and the loss of income left me terrified and broke.

In situations as dire as that was, there are decisions that must be made. Of course necessary living expenses must be handled first. Rent/mortgage, electricity, water and food should always be a priority. Expenses that don’t directly affect your ability to survive should only be paid once your living expenses have been paid.

Sadly, while going through my unemployment, I was unable to make even my minimum credit card payments. I had worked for years to repair my credit, and it was devastating to feel that I was losing all of the ground that I had gained. I also fell behind on my cable/internet/home phone. There just wasn’t money to pay those bills. I did consider the cable company somewhat of a necessity since I needed the internet to search for a job.

My first instinct was to bury my head in the sand and avoid all of the calls since I couldn’t give them any money. However, I realized that a late pay is far better than a no pay on my credit. If your account is closed by the credit grantor, that is far worse than missing a couple of payments. Missing a few payments will certainly affect your credit, but not nearly as badly and it is far easier to make up for once you get on your feet. I answered the calls and told the same people over and over, every other day, why I was unable to pay. It was annoying, but none of my accounts were closed.

Once I started working again, it was time to play catch up. I know it’s instinctive to want to go online and just get everything caught up. Who wants to spend hours calling a dozen places. However, it is a far better idea to call each and every place that you owe money to. I hadn’t even considered it myself until one of the besties pointed out that I had a better chance of getting late fees waived if I were to call and ask! So, I called every credit card and they each took off at least two late fees. That was, at least, $70 per card!

I even called the cable company and talked them into giving me a discount for paying in full. I also asked about current specials and wound up with an extra DVR/cable box and a faster internet connection for $0.72 LESS per month!

It is important to communicate with the companies to whom you owe money throughout the entire ordeal so your accounts aren’t closed, but it is even more beneficial to communicate when you are ready to catch up so that you can receive the benefit of fee forgiveness. If a company thinks you are unwilling to pay your debts, they will be less likely to work with you, but when they see you making good on them, they will want to help you.

Have you ever had a serious debt experience?

As you all know, I pack my lunch to save money. What you don’t know is that, for some reason, my palette is not satisfied with a simple sandwich for lunch. Now, if it is a delectable (and fattening) sub I am fine. But, when I pack my lunch I try to save calories just as much as I like to save money. Because of that, I am left trying to find items that I can cook that will fill me up and taste delicious. I love a Lean Cuisine as much as the next girl, but they never fill me up and I find myself searching for a snack a little later. I love soup and if I can prepare a soup that is low in calories and can be accompanied with something else to ensure that I’m full, I’m game! This soup is delicious and filling. Eight total servings are 260 calories each!

2 tbsp olive oil

1 onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 can (14.5 oz) chopped tomatoes with basil, garlic & oregano

2 cans (14.5 oz each) chicken broth

8 oz small pasta shells

1 tsp Italian seasoning

1 bunch fresh kale, tough stems discarded, cut into 1 inch pieces

2 cans small white beans, drained and rinsed

1 tbsp tomato paste

½ tsp salt

¼ tsp pepper

Grated parm for serving

Heat oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add onion and cook 5 minutes. Add garlic and cook 1 minute. Stir in tomatoes, broth and 3 cups of water. Bring to simmer over high heat. Add pasta and Italian seasoning. Cook, stirring, 5 minutes. Stir in kale; cook 5 minutes more. Reduce heat to medium and stir in beans, tomato paste, salt and pepper. Heat through. Garnish with parmesan cheese.

I know it’s been quite some time since I have posted a new blog. I was initially trying to take time off so I could finish up my degree and I intended to start right back up. However, I wound up unemployed for a few months, which set me back a lot. The current economy is very frustrating for any job seeker. However, it is especially frustrating for a recent graduate with 10 years of substantial professional experience under her belt.

During my unemployment, I was stressed and overwhelmed with all of the mounting bills and attempting to budget the meager savings I had acquired. As a frugalosopher, I was better equipped to deal with the lack of income than many would be. However, it was still a difficult time. I am, once again, gainfully employed. During that time, though, I learned a few things that I would like to share. I will delve more into these topics in the weeks to follow, but I want to share the basics now.

1. Don’t ever ignore a bill. Regardless of whether or not you can pay the bill at the moment, don’t pretend as if it doesn’t exist if you do not have the money to pay it. By speaking to those to whom you owe money you are keeping them informed that you intend to make good on your debt and also making a great stride in keeping them from closing your account or sending you to collections. If you ignore it altogether, your account will likely be closed. Slow pay looks much better on your credit than an account closed by credit grantor.
2. When times are financially lean, you can save a lot on groceries. I typically do not exist on hamburger meat. We are a family who eats plenty of chicken and steak. However, when times get tough, the tough eat spaghetti. Once a week. It’s not forever, and a couple of months of cheaper meals never hurt anyone.
3. Selling items on eBay can help a lot. I usually donate my son’s outgrown clothing to Salvation Army. However, when I was strapped for cash I decided to post some on eBay. They sold! I would never have the time or inclination to do this otherwise but, in a pinch, the extra income certainly helped.

I will be posting more frequently in the weeks to come. By the way, big news! The book is slated to be released next month! Keep an eye on my blogs and I will keep you updated!

Have you experienced unemployment or another difficult financial time?

As much as I love to cook, I also love to eat out. For some reason, food just always tastes better when you aren’t the one who prepared it. My son is always pestering me to make him sandwiches and when I point out that since he is twelve years old now he can now make them himself, he always explains that they just taste better when I make them. Yes, I’m a sucker, I know. Anyway, I love to eat out, but I hate to spend a lot of money to eat out. This does not mean that I am limited to McDonald’s for my culinary outings…

I very rarely eat out anywhere without a coupon. When I say very rarely, I mean that I must be eating with someone who hates every restaurant for which I have a coupon. As soon as someone asks me to go out to eat, I run for the coupon stash. There are always great coupons available. The Sunday paper always has coupons for restaurants. Check your mailbox too. The mailers that most people just throw away are filled with coupons for local restaurants. Also, there are always coupons books that are free that are usually available at gas stations, laundromats, nail salons, etc.

If all else fails, check Restaurant.com. There are many offerings on that site and you can often score $25 certificates for $10. Just make sure that you read the fine print. Sometimes they are only good for dinner, or you have to spend a minimum. Watch your e-mails for Groupon and Living Social deals. There are frequently coupons for restaurants that I have been wanting to try. Sign up for the restaurant e-clubs too. They send out coupons all the time.

Buy one get one coupons are my favorite, but 20% off coupons are great too! Sometimes it will just be a free appetizer, but whatever it is, you just saved money! Don’t forget to tip your server based upon the pre-discounted total. That was a huge pet peeve of mine when I was a server!

Where do you get your restaurant coupons?

New Year’s Eve is always an exciting time of year. We are saying good-bye to the old year and looking forward to the new. It is an evening of celebration and friendship and it is also a ridiculously expensive evening that, more often than not, doesn’t live up to our high expectations. People spend weeks planning the evening and shopping for the perfect outfit. Babysitters are booked weeks in advance and their rates are tripled for that evening. Clubs, bars and restaurants are far more expensive than they are the rest of the year, but it turns out just like a regular night with the exception of the midnight countdown. So, why not look for less expensive alternatives?

I’ve begun to thoroughly enjoy spending a night in with friends. The clothes are more comfortable, the drinks are cheaper and you can hear your conversations. There is none of the “special night” letdown because there are no expectations other than enjoying time with your friends. Also, it is much easier to be safe because there is usually a guest bedroom or a couch to sleep on so that you don’t have to worry about an irresponsible drive home.

There are also many restaurants that offer less expensive alternatives. These are usually the restaurants that don’t have crowded bars. I’ve seen some local restaurants offering tasting menus so that you can sample a little bit of many of the selections on the menu. Before deciding on a restaurant, make sure that you call ahead to find out if they are only offering a specific New Year’s menu. Some will deviate from the traditional menu and offer only a special menu and those offering are often a lot more expensive than what you would order otherwise. Also, make sure you call to find out if reservations are necessary. There would be nothing worse than driving around looking for somewhere to go.

Whatever you do for New Year’s eve, make sure that you have fun and that you are safe and responsible. Don’t place exceptionally high expectations because you may be disappointed and have a great time. Don’t drink and drive, but try to arrange a designated driver or a place to sleep if you want to eat, drink and be merry!

What are your plans for New Year’s Eve?